Remember and never let go
I have so many thoughts in my head, yelling back at me. I am so worried about everything! I feel nothing is soon enough but too soon at the same time. I have the impression I will not be able to sort everything out in time! The stress, of it all, is killing me!
I wish I could find a way to disconnect for a moment, a brief moment. Out of it, out of this world, looking down at my worries as if they were someone elses’s.
Throwing a coin on a street.. for you it’s just a coin, for others it’s a fortune. A lucky penny, a quarter of a bread, a tomato, an apple….
Every day, walking down the street I try not to see it, all around me, poverty… Not just money. People are short on happiness, on smiles. Such wrinkles, they all carry on their faces, all because of worry and pain. If I smile to them only the old people smile back, the rest give me this strange look and walk past. I wonder if it was always like this. If I would go back 300 years, maybe 500, walk down a street, smile at someone, would they reply?
What worries me is that one day I might be like that too. Forget how to smile, enjoy the sun after a summer rain, the wind through my hair, touching the leaves of the trees as I walk past and feel life running through them, walking really fast even though I have no place to hurry to, sit on a bench in a small park, with no one around, listening to the birds or the same playlist I’ve had for months and don’t feel like changing yet! I’m hoping that writing all this down here would keep them alive forever. Maybe a few years from now, when I have become a shadow of what I am now, I will read this, and remember, what I loved, what I lost and be like that again.
The National – Sorrow
