All I wanted today was to be alone. All day long. To spend the day with myself. Autumn does that to me. But it did not go as planned.
At 12 pm my dear cousin thought it was about time I woke up. She was surprised too “You’re sleeping??”. In my mind I said “No, I’m pretending”. But of course I was kinda polite and said “Yes.”. So I kept on sleeping after that and woke up at 30 minutes past 3 and called her back. She invited me over in order to appologize properly for her wrong doing. I went there, saw photos of her and her new husband, “photos” of her soon to be child (“It’s a girl I tell you, I can feel it” she kept saying), she saw photos of my niece, and I saw some photos with me as a child. And again I heard the apologies pourring from her, my aunt and my uncle. Perfect Sunday with the family, you’d think.
I spent 3 or more hours there and all the time I though “I need to leave… I need to leave… I don’t like this at all”. But there was a strange force keeping me still, browsing through the photo albums, hearing them argue as usual. I must say that is the most chaotic family I’ve ever met. No harmony, no love, no peace. It’s strange to me how they still are together and I left there exhausted.
But then I got home. I finally finished the last of the two books I read this weekend (they weren’t thick, one was 100 pages and the other 167), I watched a film I enjoyed (Adventureland) and listened to some more Santo Gold. I heard some this Friday in Paris Panam and liked it. I enjoy spending time with myself sometimes. There is something great about being silent, feeling it surround you. It is even better when you can do it with another person too. Just walking, not having to talk but even though you are going through your own thoughts being in touch with the other person as well. Feeling him so close mentally and spiritually, walking and, from time to time, looking at each other and a smile would be enough, would say it all with no word at all.
Tomorrow I will finish my tattoo and finally start the last book I bought, Three men in a boat by Jerome K. Jerome. I heard it was a nice book so I’ll try it. When I bought it I started reading a bit at Modarom, on a bench. I kept laughing and could hardly contain myself as people went by, looking at me and probably thinking I’m nuts. I enjoyed their glances and did not feel weird at all.
Good night.
